in life there are givers and receivers.

these past few weeks especially have really taught me something about life.

in life, there are those people who give, give of themselves, their thoughts, their emotions, their life stories and advice to others. then there are those people who are the recievers of these things. and sadly, one is generally one and not the other. either someone who gives, and never recieves, or someone who recieves and never gives. but its funny how the latter person will never admit to being who they are. it is then ever the more reason for those of us who fall 'victim' to the first characteristic, to step out and voice how we feel.

i am not sure about how you feel on this matter but i hav found myself in a place where i am constantly giving. giving advice, giving my ear for people to talk to me, my shoulder for some to cry on, my hand for those few to hold and most importantly, my time for people to occupy. this has served to be the most taxing on me.

its funny how for the period when people need you the most you become everything that they need. you're thoughts are occupied with their stories, your heart feels heavy and even breaks when theirs does, you put everything on hold when they need to talk to you. assignments are left unwritten until the last night, jobs are turned down, your own relationships suffer because you feel too consumed and emotionally drained by someone elses problems, that when it comes to your own, you simply cant deal. WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES?

then, once their problems are fixed, and they are standing on top of their little world again, you become an after thought, you take the backseat. gosh, sometimes you are even kicked out of the car completely.
these kinds of people will always find their way into your life. and sometimes, thats ok. they strengthen you.

we need to look after our own wellbeing. we need to included givers into our lives as well. for we as givers, have far much more of a chance of finding more givers like ourselves, and having a balanced life, than those takers.

and when you find someone who can share this load with you, someone who you give so much to, and they give so much more back, and the cycle continues forever, then you know. you know that you have found someone worth fighting for. someone who your sacrifices are going to mean something to. this person in my life. he knows who he is. i love you in a way far greater than words could ever define.