stress. what i have learnt (or have yet to learn) and how it affects our happiness.

so here is the thing.

in my life, i find myself in situations where i subconsciously, or consciously (who knows) exposing myself to large doses of stress. for someone who tries to fill their life with all that is simple, refreshing and soul-rewarding, stress seems to be a contradicting factor in my outlook on life. it seems as though it is conflicting, if not, the very opposite of my quest for complete happiness. however, strangley enough i have discovered the link between the two to be a lot stronger than one would have imagined it to be.

when given an assignment to do, or a task to complete, i will be the first person to not stress about it. in fact, the opposite is done. i don't even think about it at all, let alone worry about it. it is simply shoved to the back of my mind, not to be thought about until the utmost last minute when it needs to be. now one may think, surely if i deal with the task at hand, i will reduced the chance of becoming stressed out later, when i am desparately trying to finish it at the last minute. i must say, that does seems logical, and is probably correct, but does not work for me unfortunately.

see i live. i live and live and remain stress free until the moment where procrastination is no longer an option, and crunch time has hit. stress levels rise, and i find myself being thrown into a mount of work i had no time to stop and think about prior to this 'freak-out' stage. but here is the thing. i ALWAYS, without fail, get it done. and that feeling that is felt once you hit print, once you staple the pages together, once you gently slide that neatly composed document into the assignment box, a sense of euphoria is felt - like a huge weight has been lifted and the world looks and feels brighter and more positive than you have ever felt it to be.

so yes, i am an emotional junkie. i crave the extremes, happiness being my drug i will do anything to experience it at a higher level than before. and some my think it is super unhealthy, i however, feel it is necessary for me to live. for why live a life of mediocracy? simply doing everything on time, no stress, and a plain, old boring lie on monotomous emotion. i couldn't live like that. for every high there is a low. sometimes we need to hit a low in our lives, in order to remember how to appreciate those highs - to experience them like we are for the first time in our lives. that could not be possible, if we never experience a low. this goes for all things in life, i am not only speaking of the stress we encounter before a big assignment, exam or meeting. i am speaking about life in general. and life is a journey. happiness is a gift, something that should never be taken for granted. and i, i wish to experience it at an optimal level, every opportunity i get.

so yes, i am a procrastinator, a lover of the thrill of pressure and anxiety, i thrive off of it. and only when someone can say they have experienced the happiness and euphoria which follows, will truly be able to understand what i mean.

so stress is a good thing - it results in a happiness like no other. everything in life balances out. it always has, and no matter your situation - always will.